Thursday, March 22, 2007

Todd Fedoruk gets punched in the face...hard


Another NHL game, another guy knocked out and lying in a pool of his own blood (ok, there was no pool of blood). This time it was Todd Fedoruk of the Flyers. He and Rangers tough guy, Colton Orr, squared off in a heavyweight match-up that took place 20 seconds into the game. That seems awfully quick. Hmmmm.

In their last match-up, Orr and the Rangers felt Fedoruk "took liberties" with Rangers players when Orr was out of the lineup. (Sounds oddly sexual, I know.) You see, peoples, Colton Orr is a goon (Fedoruk is a goon, too). He commands respect when he's on the ice. He keeps the dirty, physical stuff to a minimum. When he's scratched or not playing, the other team's tough guy might take advantage of the situation. Otherwise known as "taking liberties" - are we getting it??

Isn't that why we have referees, you ask? Hey! What is this basketball??? The players "police themselves," which, in theory, actually leads to less fighting/pools of blood and more scoring (to paraphrase Dale Hunter, Marty McSorely, and Todd Bertuzzi). In any case, Orr decided that Fedoruk needed to be "held accountable" for his actions that night. Hence, the fight.

Don't worry, though. Todd was okay.

"I'm a little sore but I'm fine right now. I remember everything. I looked at him and he said, 'Let's go.' He knocked me out on the way down. When I got off the ice I woke up. I guess I got my bell rung.''
Well, he didn't remember everything. Rangers doc, Claude Macaluso said, "He is having some problems with short-term memory, but other than that he is great."

Yeah, and other than the fact that he can't remember his wife's name, what he ate for dinner, and how to tie his shoes, he's doing GREAT. Also, although he doesn't remember the team he plays for, he did seem to recognize the team colors and jersey logo. So the Flyers expect him to return soon.

Gary Bettman said he hadn't heard about the incident as he was busy working out the details of the league's new TV deal with the Food Network.

1 comment:

balzach said...

I'm belly laughing at that "poos" (please read like Doz would if you're able) who got punched in the face...how do you show your face again...certainly not as an "enforcer!"....yeah, but anyway, how 'bout those Rangers in '94..man, it wasn't it totally awesome when Mess guaranteed the victory against the Canucks and Kovalev and Richter were totally f'n sweet and we won the Cup, I mean that was like the best Stanley Cup run EVER, and wasn't it sweet too when...........

p.s. Actually a funny zinger to close with...good work.