Monday, July 2, 2007

The Brian Rolston Situation: Someone's Wife is Not Happy

Wild fans! I apologize. It's been too long. After the Wild's game 5 loss to the Ducks I lost my muse - how could I not?? But then some wonderful reader posted a great comment. My muse returned.

Those of you who are long time readers of Casual Hockey will remember Rolston's visit to my bedroom (wow, that really sounds terrible) during last season's playoff run. In short, my new wife of 7 months had some kinky dream about Rolston. Apparently, he was a BIG part of the dream. Not to worry, we're still going strong. Brian Rolston might have a really hard slapshot and piles of money stashed away in his basement and come to think of it, he's probably in excellent physical condition, too. Point is, he's not going to ruin this marriage!

To my dismay, my lady pursued the Brian Rolston Situation (that's what we call it now) and after many hours of research on the internets she found credible information (Wikipedia is credible, right?) that Rolston was in fact divorced. (By the way, as you can read in the post, she was WAY too excited about this possibility. Then, inexplicably, she started in on Brent Burns. So now we have the Brent Burns Situation. This is my home life. It consumes me.)

And so, we come to July 2, 2007. More than two months after my last post. More than two months since I claimed Rolston was divorced. I get this comment from an "anonymous" reader:

Brian Rolston is not divorced. Someone must of edited [Wikipedia] because go back and it says he is married...he is not divorced, and I don't know why you care about this stuff.

-Anonymous

Then, "Anonymous" closed with, "My husband - er, I mean Brian Rolston is a happily married man. And if you EVER write anything to the contrary again , I will fucking kill you!" Ok, not really, but I'm pretty sure that Brian Rolston's wife left that first comment. Read it again. It's completely crazy. I love the, "I don't know why you care about this stuff" line. Yeah, I don't know why either. Umm, it's funny? Can that be a reason why?

In any case, you know you've made it to the big time when players' wives are reading your shit. But I feel for her, because if you google 'brian rolston's wife' check out the first thing that pops up. (Also, my blog muse is now officially named Mrs. Rolston. Thank you for making me write again. Readers, check back for more frequent updates.)