The Onion is Smarter than Gary Bettman

The Onion reports that the NHL has signed a deal with the Food Network. I like this. This could actually work. The NHL may as well televise its games on the Food Network, since its currently stuck lingering in cable tv hell. Here's a quote from Gary Bettman:

"We also thought the lead-in programs on Versus, especially those that focused on bull-riding, bass fishing, and violent contact sports, were not entirely compatible with the image of the league. Now, hockey games will follow Emeril Live, Feasting On Asphalt, and The Hungry Detective, which, as you can plainly see, are a better fit."

Hey, at least they'd be on a channel people watch. The Onion's fine reporting comes just as the NHL started bragging about this:

"Tuesday’s Buffalo at Pittsburgh game on VERSUS posted a .41 national household cable rating, garnering 394,678 viewers. The telecast not only was the highest-rated NHL game this year, but the most-viewed NHL regular-season game ever on the network."

Ok, easy now Mr. Bettman. I think Blue's Clues and Bob the Builder still have you beat. Also beating you, MTVs My Super Sweet Sixteen. So, let's not get too excited. (That game was pretty awesome though, if you saw it.)

Not really related sidenote: Christina Aguilera was at the Wild game in Vancouver the other night. By far the biggest celeb to attend an NHL game this year. Word on the street is that she and this guy have a little something going. Seriously, it's in US Weekly. Probably.