Tonight on...Versus (sigh)

Yes, tonight on Versus (formerly OLN, otherwise known as Outdoor Life Network - wow) the Red Wings battle the Flyers. For those of you who have never heard of Versus (you're not alone by the way), it's channel 932, sandwiched between The Puppy Channel and The Hallmark Channel. (Incidentally, the Hallmark Channel is pretty much Lifetime, WE, and Oxygen channels wrapped into one. So don't let your ladyfriend fool you.) Anyway, if you can find the channel, you can watch hockey tonight. Oh and preceding the hockey game is a show called, "Holy @#*!" Nope, not kidding. So be sure to tune in a little early tonight.

I just can't believe the NHL let this happen. How on earth do you let ESPN go away??? Makes no sense. Although, my inside sources tell me that ESPN had no interest in bringing back the NHL. If that was the case, the league should have just given ESPN the rights to broadcast games. For free. Instead, NHL games are lingering in cable tv hell. No one watches. I read somewhere that only 14 people watched the All-Star Game this year. How is this possible? I blame Gary Bettman for this. And obviously, the Russians must take some of the blame as well.

I really wish I could have been inside of Bettman's brain during negotiations. What the hell was happening in there? On the one hand you have ESPN, the worldwide leader in sports. Not just the best sports channel, one of the best channels on tv. Everyone knows that. When guys turn on their TVs, ESPN is either the first thing that comes on or the channel is immediately changed to ESPN. At that point, there's a 50/50 chance the guy will just leave it on. No matter what is on. Seriously.

Case in point, last weekend I wake up around 830am, wander to couch, turn on ESPN, and proceed to watch an hour of women's 9-ball pool. An hour! Granted, the Black Widow was playing and she IS tremendous, but still. And yesterday, I turn on the ESPN and some terrible NBA game is on. Now, you have to understand that I hate the NBA. It's a disgrace to all other professional sports. I just can't get into a sport where its best players, Shaq and Lebron, can be sidelined for 20 games by a big toe injury. A big toe. How is that possible? In any case, I end up watching the basketball game. For no good reason. I don't even like it. It's obvious, I'm hypnotized by ESPN. My wife, knowing this, comes in and says, "What are you doing??? You don't even like basketball." I look up, tired and drowsy. Shit, she's right. That breaks the spell.

Okay, so back to Bettman's brain. Why wouldn't he want millions of guys watching NHL games on the worldwide leader in sports? I can't answer this question. Let's just go with this: Gary Bettman is a douche until he proves otherwise. Seems reasonable.