Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Bettman & Satellite Radio: Who didn't see this coming?

In what has already been widely reported, Gary "Smug Prick" Bettman will host a live call-in show on XM Satellite Radio, called "NHL Hour". Bettman is one of the most hated figures in all of sports. No one knows how he has kept his job. Oh wait, the owners like him because they make lots and lots of money. (Guess what, Owners? You'd make more money if your games weren't hidden away in the deep, dark depths of cable TV hell. Read, Versus Channel.) On all other fronts, Bettman has been a complete and utter failure. He's a fool who doesn't understand hockey or its fans. What a dick.

Anyway, I've been trying to think of some questions for him and this is all I could come up with:
  • Bettman! Why are you such a smug prick?

  • Gary, every Monday night it takes me 15 minutes of wading through channels like Hallmark, Oxygen, and CSPAN3 before I finally find Versus. Seriously, you didn't think of this?? Versus is on channel 92!! That's not even an easy number to remember. Fuck.

  • How could you possibly suck at your job this much? How?? Tell me right now.

  • Gary, I hate you. Explain.

WILDS UPDATE: Since I've been away the Wilds are 2-3 and 2-5-1 in their last 8. That's not good. This guy is still out with a groin. Oh and so is this guy. And these guys are our best players. So that's too bad. The Wilds take on the Flames tonight in Cal-Gary.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Channel 92...you can't remember that? 92 is seven less than 99, a number worn by a guy named Wayne Gretzkey, who apparently was good at this game you call hockey. And seven, well...it's the number seven, you can remember that.

kw said...

Listen, everybody knows that's how I remember my anniversary. 9 is 90 less than 99. So I can't just use the Great One's number for any old thing, it's got to be important. Obviously. Now you've got my head all mixed up with numbers. 9, 7, 90, 99, 92. Now I'm all fucked up. Thanks.