Jacques' Poll: Would a Dose of Levitra do the Trick?

Another terrible, horrible, no good, rotten game last night by the Wilds in a 3-1 loss to the Flyers. Mike Russo of the StarTribune said fans were booing it was so bad. I couldn't even watch the third period. And just think, 88% of you said Jacques is not on the hot seat. (See Jacques' Poll at right). Why not? This team doesn't play with any consistency. With the exception of Aaron Voros (we'll talk about him in days to come), no one plays with any passion. Backstrom let a goal in from outside the blue line, our best defenseman is a 72 year old Keith Carney, our best offensive threat is Voros a tall, gangling rookie, and the powerplay is a fucking joke. As my wife said last night after the Wilds botched another 5 on 3 advantage, "the enemy of good is perfect..." I was like, why aren't you coaching?

Let me highlight the problem at hand. The Wilds have exactly one win in games where the opponent scores the first goal. One win??? Guess how many wins they have when trailing after 2 periods.......two. That's right, they have two come from behind wins this season in 27 games. What a joke! Where's the heart, the grit and determination? Where's the ingenius bench strategy that Jacques is known for???

Yet, you people think Jacques has control over this ice hockey club. Now, admittedly, Jacques' Poll did coincide with a 4-game win streak by the Wilds, but still isn't the writing on the wall? This team needs to get it going. The Western Conference is so tight, the Wilds could easily miss the playoffs. What's the solution?

Who said there's nothing to do in North Dakota?

In what is quickly becoming the must-see event of the season, former college hockey coaches Doug Woog and "Mean" Dean Blais will face off against each other in a game of bubble hockey. Yeah, that's right. Bubble hockey. They will play the game at center ice in Englestad Arena between periods of the Sioux-Gopher game this Friday. AND this match will be televised!!! So, don't tell me you've got nothing to do this weekend. You can always watch two old college hockey coaches play bubble hockey against each other. (Incidentally, have you ever watched a game of bubble hockey??? It's just about the most boring fucking thing on the planet. Playing is fun, watching not so much.)

Doug Woog, of course, coached the mighty Gophers and now acts as the Paula Abdul of Fox Sports North. I swear that guy is drunk every Saturday night game he broadcasts. Seriously, listen to him mumble and stumble through the game. "Mean" Dean Blais coached the Fighting Sioux to a couple of national titles. (By the way, Blais is mean. I went to his hockey camp and was about 10 seconds late to an on-ice meeting. He screamed for me to "skate 10 fucking laps, then get your ass back here!" I was 12. Also, I heard a rumor he punched one of his scramble partners in the face for missing a putt.)

If all that is true, Blais is going to fucking crush Woog. And if Mean Dean loses, I bet he jerseys Woog sends his drunk ass to the ice. Come to think of it, I will probably watch this.

WILDS UPDATE: Philly tonight. I hope Kim Johnsson keeps his chin tucked.