If you're like me and you love hockey and love fashion, you probably already heard about the Buffalo Sabres fashion show. (Don't waste your time watching the whole thing. Do watch the first bit so you understand how ridiculous this is.) Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? Apparently, Ryan Miller did. He's the Sabres goalie, which might explain a few things. (Goalies are weird. Don't ask why, it's just the way it is.) I'm not sure why he thought it would be a good idea to dress-up his teammates. Let's remember that these are mostly Canadian farm boys and nothern European guys. Fashion isn't exactly their "thing".
If you watch the video, you understand why hockey players aren't doing a lot of modeling. First, they aren't pretty. (Watch the interview with red-headed defenseman Brian Campbell and you'll see what I mean). Second, hockey players have big legs and big asses. They look better in breezers and pads than slacks and shirts. Yet, it's not the first time hockey and fashion have come together. Everyone's favorite hockey movie, Slapshot, features a charity fashion show. The players aren't exactly amused. Chiefs defenseman Johnny Upton sums it up:
"I'm gonna flash 'em, Joe. I'm gonna open up this f*&$%@ robe and wiggle my dick at 'em...every lady in there, with the exception of my wife, is gonna be running for the exits...you and your fucking fashion shows!"Please note, Johnny Upton does indeed wiggle it, which is followed by horrified screams. Unfortunately, I don't think any of the Sabres "wiggled it at 'em" at the Buffalo Convention Center. I would have heard about this. To date, I haven't heard of any Minnesota Wild fashion shows. Honestly, I can't believe this stuff actually happens.